Tuesday 27 April 2010

Colonic Irrigation

I’m sure I’ve heard somewhere that some foolish souls take the detox thing quite seriously. Now Shep doesn’t do nowt like that, this abstaining from all the unhealthy things in life would surely kill me; imagine a life with no chocolate, no tobacco, no whisky or even port for that matter? To be sure, as the Irish would say, there’s more to life than drinking water and eating yoghurty things, after all yoghurt is just curdled milk ain’t it?

Anyhow, as sure as I am that some folk’s do this detox carry on I am equally sure that I’ve heard of colonic irrigation. Now that really is taking things a bit far, unless you’re suffering from watery mouth or something why on earth have your back passage flushed out? And to pay for the privilege as well? The world has surely gone nuts.

Anyhow, to anyone out there tempted with all this flushing of orifices I’ve found a far cheaper remedy. Not just cheaper I may add but actually totally free. The first rhubarb of the spring. Oh yes! Lambing time isn’t lambing time without those first few virgin sticks of rhubarb.

I couldn’t help but ask the shepherd if he had any growing in his garden and duly some very short sticks of the red peril arrived on my doorstep, being slightly tart (bitter) sugar was duly added as I stewed it with mouth watering anticipation. I have to say it was lovely, I thoroughly enjoyed feasting on the first rhubarb of the season.

The following morning, out on the hill, setting a gimmer away in front of me which was hanging a lamb I found I suddenly had an urge to ‘go’. My greed the night before had been my downfall. There are times in life when you have to prioritise, I’m not too sure I got my priorities right but the lamb was born alive and in the future I’m going to steer clear of the natural remedy for colonic irrigation!